COMPARISON AND PLAYING SMALL

We can so easily trip ourselves up when we compare ourselves with others—and yet, so many of us do. In our social sharing world, we are constantly bombarded with opportunities to compare and feel defeated.

Comparison is something I have struggled with as well, and something I have to remain vigilant about. For a long time, imposter-type feelings showed up as the belief that I am simply not capable or good enough to be doing my work. My ego would step in as a protector and remind me that it is far safer to just keep playing small in the world. All too often, I listened and stopped making my art for periods of time, which only affirmed my worst fears: I am not truly an artist.

When I downplay my skills, abilities, and accomplishments, I am allowing ego to run the show. Self-deprecation is the ego, just as much as self-aggrandizing is. This idea was a revelation for me when I first encountered it—and quite shocking, actually. I had never thought about it that way before.

When I allow myself to feel “less than” or “not worthy” of attention, success, or acknowledgment, I am choosing safety over trust. Stepping toward my own growth naturally triggers discomfort, and I begin to fear what it would mean to truly know and trust that I am capable, worthy, and limitless. When I instinctively move away from that discomfort, my ego has won the day.

Strangely, we can find comfort in comparison because it feeds the part of us that wants to stay safe. It keeps us from risking being seen for who we truly are. Perhaps that is why we compare ourselves so often—it keeps us in a familiar and comfortable pattern of stuckness. The discomfort we know can feel easier than the discomfort we have not yet experienced.

Next time you notice yourself comparing yourself to someone else, ask what fear or limiting belief might be underpinning it.

If you hear yourself saying, “I’m not going to be as good as them,” ask yourself why that matters. Here are some questions to guide your exploration:

Why not be as good as you can be?
Why is that not enough?
What might the pursuit of your own greatness be asking of you?
What might you have to risk or let go of to discover that?
Why not be a place for your own greatness to show up?


This short version blog post is a part of my Mindset Moment series, an accompanying edition to my bi-monthly blog post. My intention for these Mindset Moments is to speak to some of the common challenges artists face with their creative work, and how a mindset shift can make a difference.

They are short reads, with a suggestion or writing prompt that you can work with…as well as an invitation to join in the conversation, sharing your experience and insights.

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